Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Can I Get a Personal Chef?

I am a horrible cook. There, it's out there. And not in the way that people say it as they serve a gourmet meal but they forgot the home-made chanterelle butter for their home-made rolls. In the, I attempted turkey burgers that turned into little dry, hard lumps, kind of way.

But I'm trying. I've started planning menus each Saturday so I know what's coming up. I also try one new dish a week and it's actually been fun. I have made casseroles, pasta dishes, and some ethnic foods. The one thing I always fail at is meat. I think that I'm so paranoid about under-cooking it I end sucking all the moisture and taste out. But again, I'm trying.

I went grocery shopping last night for a couple things I needed for the week's menus. Mostly boring stuff like mushrooms, applesauce and tortillas. And chicken breast. I stopped at a grocery I don't normally go to because I had some other errands to run which was on the shadier side of town. When gas drops below $2/gal I'll drive to the ritzier neighborhoods but until then, where ever I am is where I get my food.

I wait until the end to pick out my meat because I'm a wuss and it still grosses me out. So I took a breath and stared into the frozen wasteland of pink, slimy chicken. And the first think I lay my eyes on? A lovely package of "Chicken Paws". It's exactly what you think. A sterile white styrafoam tray of pale clammy chicken feet. With toe-nails.
OMG toe-nails. And then I died. The End.

Actually I grabbed a package of a brand I recognized and ran away. I'm supposed to cook chicken tonight in a curry sauce I found and am looking forward to. But those toe-nails will haunt me in my dreams.


liz said...

chicken paws? nasty!!! move back to the north where we eat normal body parts!

Captain Awesome said...

You mean like mystery meat with nutmeg and cinnamon (known to cincinnatians as "chili")? No thanks, I think we'll stick here in the land of sweet tea and bojangles.

Oh, and hi liz!