Performance Anxiety

Although I consider myself a shy person I don't usually have too much trouble meeting people when I move to a new place. When we moved to Cincinnati I met an amazing group of women in a bookclub on Craigslist.

And I met several freak-shows through other Craigslist/Meetup things. My favorite was the woman I met advertising a walking partner who wanted to meet at 6am on Saturday to walk through a graveyard. In her defense it was summer so 6am was cooler. But the first thing she said was a warning that she was sore after her one night stand last night and she was going to her grandmother's funeral later that day. !?!? Nice to meet you too, weirdo.

But the bookclub women were super nice and fun and didn't mention sexual exploits or dead relatives during our first meetings. We had similar interests and at least once a week I met at least one of them to have dinner, go to a festival, see a movie, get a drink, etc. They were totally my lifeline while the Captain was in NC and I was still in OH. When I had to leave we ended up having about 4 good-bye dinners because I couldn't face leaving them.

Flash forward to NC. I haven't really made an effort to meet anyone. Partial out of laziness but mostly because I'm not ready to go through the whole relationship cycle again. When I left Raleigh friends it really hurt and then it happened all over again in Cincinnati. I know this sounds crazy but I'm just not ready to deal with it again. I know, dramatic much?

The Captain got tired of me whining about having nothing to do and in a loving way forced me to look around for another book club or group to join. I found one, on Craigslist again, that seemed encouraging. They're just starting so there's no pre-formed cliques I'll have to conform to. They posted their lists of books they want to read and I also want to read most of them. The first meeting (which I couldn't go to-read wussed out because I was having a really bad hair day) was held at a bar which is always a good sign. Tonight is the first actual meeting. I read the book which I actually really liked even though I never would have picked it up on my own. I talked everyone into bringing snacks and wine and I'm having a decent hair day. So tonight at 6pm I'll be drinking wine and hopefully making friends. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. Thank God for wine.